(Neil Feinberg’s Lincoln Journal Column – November 3, 2011)
If you weren’t among the 100 or so people who bothered to show up for last Saturday morning’s State of the Town (SotT) meeting, then you missed quite a show. Maybe you thought it was more prudent to run to the stores and stock up on food, water, batteries, candles and other frivolous items, rather than attend this seminal event. Or perhaps you felt the need to rush over to Costco to stock up on frozen meats and other frozen foods. How’d that work out for you, with the power out?
For those who missed it, I will attempt to recount everything that happened at the SotT meeting. But it isn’t going to be easy. It was such a dynamic event and it all came at me so fast and furiously that even now, a day later, it’s still a blur.
It was truly an extravaganza! It included an indoor light and sound show of unparalleled magnitude. It required so much electricity–so much juice–that it caused the town to lose all power on Sunday. You thought the blackout was caused by that little ice storm? It wasn’t. That’ll give you an inkling of how dynamic and powerful the super-charged Powerpoint presentations were, and how much you missed.
Just like the Oscars or the Emmys, it kicked off with a lavish production number, complete with showgirls, costumes, and a full orchestra. Suffice it to say everyone’s socks were blown off when school project proponents performed “West Side Story,” with new, more meaningful lyrics. Consider these lyrics from ‘Something’s Coming’:
Could be! Who knows?
Your tax bill’s due any day,
The check’s in the mail, it’s on its way,
Could it be true?
Something’s coming, something good!
It costs $49 million, we knew it would
A new school’s coming, and we can’t wait,
It could be soon; and it’s gonna be great!
Who knows? Who cares?
And it was pure musical genius when the School Committee (the Jets) and the School Building Committee (the Sharks) joined together, singing and dancing their way into everyone’s hearts as they performed ‘Tonight”:
The school committee’s gonna have their day Tonight.
The building committee’s gonna have their way Tonight.
The residents may grumble: “Just repair it.”
But if they start a rumble,
We’ll rumble ‘em right.
And who can say they didn’t deal in a humorous manner with the sensitive issue of the super-sized cost of the project when they sang, “Gee, Officer Krupke”:
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You gotta understand,
It’s just the taxes going up-ke
That’s getting out of hand.
We ain’t just a soft touch,
We’re really misunderstood.
Cause deep down this project it ain’t no good!
We are broke, we are broke,
We are broke, broke, broke,
Like we’re fi-nancially broke!
Of course, as with any other three hour and ten minute extravaganza, there were bound to be some, shall we say, slower moments. Like the first three hours. Let me quickly recap: Most of the first hour was spent learning that the Capitol Planning Committee wants more authority (see future bylaws) and wants all committees that buy expensive stuff to plan for their purchases over a 25 year period.
The second hour was spent discussing the feasibility of some kind of community center (an idea that has been rejected at every past townwide forum, including the Master Plan forums). The first 45 minutes of the third hour was spent on the presentation of the same old new school building project by the school committee, the superintendent, the school building committee and the finance committee. You know the story: same size as the current school, cafeterias that will still require moving chairs and tables every day, a new entrance through the new cafeteria to get to the Donaldson Auditorium, whopping $49 million price tag, blah, blah, blah.
To be fair, the presentation this time was far superior to the one in the gym two weeks ago. This one was crisp and hit all the points that the school committee and administration wanted to make. It flowed smoothly, the slides were all lined up in the right order and most importantly, they only left ten minutes for audience feedback. If the gym performance was the dress rehearsal, they got it right this time: overwhelm the audience with presentation, data and charts and keep the audience participation to a minimum.
As good as the presentation was though, the project’s proponents could still work on it a little bit more, making some additional adjustments. For example, having played wi, um, I mean…crunched the numbers to make them work, the project’s proponents reported with a straight face that a completely brand-new school (after factoring in reimbursements at arbitrary percentages) will cost the town only about one measly million dollars more than the repair option (even if those repairs were done at rock-bottom prices by fly-by-night gypsy contractors). That means the difference in everyone’s tax bill, their charts showed, will amount to less than a buck a day, and is hardly even worth dignifying by discussing.
Now, that’s good, but not quite good enough. We need some bolder thinking. I expect that, by the time a vote on this project rolls around a year from now, we’ll be told that a brand-spanking new school will actually cost at least a million bucks less than the lowliest repair option. And that our taxes will go down, but only if we spend $49 million on a new school.
The finale was a real tear-jerker. It was so inspirational as everyone sang:
Hold my hand and we’re halfway there.
Hold my hand and I’ll take you there,
Somehow . . . Some day . . .
We’ll build a $49 million new school!!!
Everyone had their hankies out and they were sobbing as the show ended (they were probably thinking about those tax bills). You should have been there.